So here I go… putting myself out there. Making myself vulnerable. Going after something I am so absolutely passionate about but at the same time doubting my abilities of accomplishing it. You know that feeling? Wanting something so badly that it makes you queasy with excitement but also feel nauseous with the notion you might not succeed. Oh, is that just me?
Well I’m in that moment. I am in a vulnerable state of not sure of what I’m doing, but also so driven with the vision that nothing can stop me, but also paralyzed by not being able to accomplish it. Again, is that just me?
I’ve told pretty much anyone when asked what would make me happy career-wise, and passion-wise, it’s to write. I’ve written a newsletter for family and friends, resumes and cover letters, newsletters professionally, contemplated writing a book, and most recently I’ve been writing my blog. When I sit down to write my blog I get excited, feel empowered, feel alive, validated, and important. Why does writing 500-600 words a week about my life and family provide all these amazing affirmations? Because I love it. I love everything about it. I love to write, and I especially love to write about my family.
So today a friend texts me about this new blogger opportunity that came open. I’ve read and followed this blog in the past. There have been two so far and the reigns are being passed on for a third time. What I wouldn’t do to have this opportunity. I know I would be great. I know I would represent this organization well. So I did the unthinkable (unthinkable only in my mind) and I recorded and edited a video and submitted my application for consideration.
I put myself out there. And for some odd reason, I’m not completely terrified. I am not one who likes to be on video putting myself out there. At least not until now. Something about this new opportunity speaks to me like I’ve never felt before. Ever feel like you are compelled beyond something outside of you and you look at what you’re doing and have no idea where this inner strength came from? It’s as if it wasn’t you who is accomplishing this tremendous feat, but it really is. I have these moments from time to time. I don’t plan them nor can I predict them. All of a sudden my self goes into autopilot and what I can accomplish amazes me. Is that just me?
Well here I am. Putting myself out there. Even on video! And I will admit, if it doesn’t work out, I will be bummed. But I’m proud of myself nevertheless. I’m proud of my feat, autopilot or not. Here’s to those rare moments where you go for it and don’t look back. Here’s to living outside your comfort zone. Here’s to hoping it’s not just me. #veritymom