Am I A Good Mom?

How many times have you asked yourself, am I a good mom?  I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my abilities as a mom. After getting laid off I can no longer include my occupation in my self-identity. I now must rely on my abilities to be a good mom, loving and devoted wife, supportive friend, and positive contributor to society in whatever way I can.  And unfortunately, I also feel like I must up my housekeeping skills since I can no longer blame my job for taking me away from them. Ah yes, the joys — and pressure — of being a stay-at-home mom.

For the first time in almost 17 years I find myself in a new role of being a stay-at-home mom. I’ve never had the desire or privilege to dedicate my focus and identity to solely being a stay-at-home mom. I felt working from home for the past 8 years made me a semi stay-at-home mom since I could still take my kids to school, pick them up, and sneak away to do mom-essential duties of taking kids to appointments and volunteering occasionally in their school.  Plus I didn’t spend hours each week away from them to commute to and from my job. I had the perfect balance.  Or so I thought.

So now that I’m in-between jobs, I’ve been forced to look in the proverbial mirror more and ask myself if I’m the type of mom I want to be.  Plus being up for the next Verity Mom, I of course question if I am the kind of mom that can and should represent other moms.  If I have my own self-doubts of my ability to be a good mom, does that make me not qualified?

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I watched a video online the other day that is going viral that shows moms being interviewed about their parenting (prepare yourself, it’s a tear jerker!).  Most of the moms stated all the negatives they see in their parenting and the things they wished they were better at.  After all the moms were interviewed, they sat each of them down to watch the videos of what their kids said about them.  The kids listed all the positive things about their moms and all the reasons why they loved their moms.  To watch the moms’ reactions to all the amazing things their children were saying about them just reconfirms every mom’s existence once becoming a mom — to know our kids know how much we love them.  It’s to hear that even though we may not be perfect, we are perfect for them.  Even through all the doubts we have of our ability to be a good mom, our kids love us unconditionally.  They don’t focus on all the negatives.  So why then, as moms, do we?

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Yes I question my parenting abilities.  Daily.  But I think it’s important to stop doubting ourselves.  Stop the constant negative commentary going on upstairs about our abilities and focus on being the mom our kids already think we are.  Our kids deserve more and so do we.  And to answer the question if I’m the type of mom that can represent other moms, my answer is officially yes.  I’m just as imperfect, vulnerable, and filled with self-doubt as any other mom out there.  But my kids know I love them so I must be doing something right.

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6 thoughts on “Am I A Good Mom?

  1. Hi Mollye! Kudos to you on sharing these feelings as I think we all have them. Enjoy the downtime, as I know you deserve it! Anyone who worked with SRS knows how hard we all worked. There is an opportunity out there for you that will be a better fit for you and your family. It takes a while to decompress from the pace you were on and you don’t even realize it. You were very good to me while I was at SRS….I appreciated YOU! Best, Colleen Meyer

    • Thank you so much, Colleen! That means a lot to hear. It’s definitely been a change of pace for me but I honestly can’t remember a time that I’ve been happier. I miss so many folks at RSR, you included! But I am definitely ready for my next chapter. And thank you so much for commenting! Us moms need to give each other reminders that we are all doing the best we can and give ourselves a break for our non-so-great moments. Our kids do!

  2. You come up with such great ideas. You never cease to amaze me. And honey, you are an incredible Mom. I think it every time I see you with your kids. Their faces reflect back all the love and care you give them. It’s a beautiful thing.

    Your loving mommy

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  3. Okay, so I could’ve written the exact same first two paragraphs! Too funny. I was in the exact same boat with layoff, having to clean (GASP!) and be a SAHM which I have never done in my 13 years as a mom. Enjoy it and then get back to work. 😉 Miss our quick little emails each week. – Kim

    • Ah yes, the transition from working mom to SHAM is not a seamless one. But I’ve loved it (once I got over the shock of being laid off). Miss our emails too, Kim! Hope you are doing well. Thanks for commenting!

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